koden min blogg

Poem

I will say goodbye
A painful thought

out of  logic talks,

I decided to walk

I can be crushed

by my awareness

of  a deep

sense of afraidness

I leave behind

experiences

of something

rare and new,

essential for you

attraction of minds

is difficult to find,

a kind of friendship

not easy to understand

I will see you

in the shadow,

while struggling

with emotions

you keep a

distance,

avoiding disturbance

you are living

under surveillance

Poem

Women in brown trousers

She was walking
through life
in brown trousers

her face
had no expressions,
blue eyes
got grey,
her skin was pale

emotions
hidden behind
a veil

sensuality
drowned,
promiscuousity
denied,
fantasies lost
in realities

still,
not dead,
but alive,
sensitive to others

warm
as sand in Bengal sun,
under her brown trousers

Reflections

The beauty of soul
is seen
through crystal,
its colours,
change in the
light of life,
has its
roots in
a big heart,
making thoughts
of the good,
its seeds
find its footsteps
in to the
unknown future

Bridges of Madison County
One can not really
tell,
in ordinary words,
unique as it is,
different,
strong and scary

an untold story
of inner personalities
and humanity,
sensible feelings,
hidden behind
a mask
of normality

still,
doors wide open
to
images made
of golden threads,
never seen before

poems easily born

an awakening time,
sensing
a depth to far to reach,
walking with loneliness,
struggling
to find daily routines,
gratitude
for overwhelming experience,
like
Bridges of Madison County


Circle of living life

Sweet dreams,
my lips,
rich of colours,
flourish like a flower,
smiles softly,
red and warm

look,
my wrinkles,
not two,
but perhaps
millions,
they are
shining paths
on my skin

mirror says it:
My breasts
does not blossoms,
they are rather thin,
but still,
they are my very own
A joy!

what has happen
with my waist?

before I was slim
and feisty,
but life is good,
with
cream and sugar
and
happy moments
with
a glass of wine or two

fruits of passions
feels dry,
sour and rough,
what to do?

one feel shy and shaky,
let it happen carefully

do not touch
my legs,
they are not
my best,
but dance I will
and dance I do

I am alive
and so are you

Poem

Kiss me beyond realities
Fingertips touch them,
as they get swollen,
greedy

Silent hunger,
at an empty table,

warmth spread
in a body,
used to freeze

dreams flows,
while you
reach an universe,
of stormy feelings
and a very different
kind of sounds

clothes are falling,
on a white floor,
your hands
are not alone,
you smell
the skin
of a stranger

you move your leg,
you dance,
but not your eyes,
they search
in the room
and find
those lips
which kiss you
beyond realities

Poem

Have I ever seen you before

Intense,

one sense

a strength

with words

and

words again

of a certain

length

and dark eyes,

a hiding place

of beautiful lies

the past

has revisited

me at last

what

a question

to  ask:

are you

a reflection

of what

I left behind

Still,

decades ago

I see

it clear:

A change,

of direction

a new route

now and then,

always a chain,

bewildered,

still sane,

but not

for you to say,

if I really met

you yesterday

Keep Sanity In The Circle Of Tragedies

These days tragedies impossible to take in, emerge in newspaper and TV channels. The impact of the terrible disaster in Japan is difficult to understand, and I would imagine many people close their eyes and turn to other pages or channels.

I do it myself, very often, as all the events, catastrophes and crises is disturbing. To think of all those Japanese people who are affected, is in fact heartbreaking.  I think it is natural as well, and rather sane, to focus on the brighter side of life as we all need a kind of mental nutrition and encouragement. We need hope.

Of course we could just leave all these negative realities and drift into selfishness. But this is not the case. Many people have great sympathy for the Japanese people and many are thinking in a broader perspective and get worried about the global impact on this catastrophe of such huge dimension. Although oceans, mountains and border lines keep us apart, we all belong to a chain.

The international economy could be affected The environmental impact is of great importance. There are many cards on the table. Only a few are known so far. This will be a topic for a long period, but the events in Japan will fade as soon as a new tragedy turns up.

This is the face of journalism. Broadcasters and reporters are running after the news, wherever is it possible to find it. These days we get every events live in both net version, net-TV in newspapers and of course traditional television. Mass communication is finally a correct word, in every possible sense and meaning. For instance, through mobile phones, news are sent around the world, as events take place, and this is something of a sensation which new generation take for granted, but as I have been living for a certain time, I am amazed by the speed of news these days. Still, we have become consumers of news and information and I am not sure if we really let it sink in, or if it just fill a new gap, our need of impressions.

Could we make a diagnose: Information and communication stress?

Why not turn it all off? Stay silent. Enjoy peaceful moments in daily life. Get into your own soul. Be mature through your knowledge of your own inner universe, which is a journey of imagination. Perhaps this is the best recipe to keep sane.

But of course the world outside fascinate: I am sure Japan will be able to rebuild and move forward. Japanese people are hard working and disciplined. They have this ability in the fabric of society and “cultural infrastructure”. Perhaps Japan will be able to modernise and reform its society as well.

In the shadow of the Japanese disaster, the development in Libya has continued. Libyans are bombed and killed by their own leaders, which is a crime against humanity. Still, world leaders are discussing what to do. This is difficult to understand for ordinary people. What will happen if Gaddafi survives this crises? Both personal and state assets are frozen. He will be a liability and only welcome in countries like Venezuela, Zimbabwe or North Korea. Will Gaddafi and the international community return to point zero, where Gaddafi has been before? Will he ever be able to return to his previous position? It will be interesting to see the further development. Libya will indeed be on the map of world news for a while as well.

The struggle for reforms is not finished in Bahrain, yet. Although emergency law is used by the regime, the Shia majority is angry. And anger is a particular energy. One does not give up easily. In the end, the monarchy of Bahrain could fall. These days the ruling family and their institutions are under the protection of Saudi soldiers. Tomorrow is an other day, as those who put the weapon against its people will one day face the same destiny. This is a law of the nature. The situation is tense in Yemen. A change could come fast or the crises could last for some more time.

Still, as we live in the circle of tragedies and crises, we can only watch and wait. The need of normality is very human. We search for order and stability. We need to laugh, and therefore, to feel joy, you keep sane as events unfold.

Monarchs On Shaky Thrones

Next year Egypt will celebrate its 60 years as republic. The last king ,Farouk, was famous for many things, but these days I think of one statements the king made while living his last years in a restless exile:

“One day there will only five kings in the world – the one in England and those four in the pack of cards”

I came to think of Farouk while I read about the demonstrations and revolutionary slogans which spread like a wildfire in the Arab world, where you still find many feudal and more or less old fashioned monarchies. 

Many of these kings, sultans and emirs face great challenges. Although not so many cries out for republics, but demand constitutional monarchies, based on free and fair election and a government based on a parliamentarian system, the atmosphere and opinion could change very fast as the map of politics seems to get into new phases almost every week.

At present rulers in countries like Jordan, Oman, Morocco and Saudi Arabia are able to handle the situation, but they are indeed vulnerable as some of them seem to forget that generous economic package is not part of the deal or answer of the problem. People are asking for democratic reforms and structural changes, which will of course reduce the power of the ruling families.

Democratic constitutions will in any case not be as those you  find in the West as the society is build up in a different way, but constitutional monarchies are very much based on the same principles: Out of politics and only ceremonial. And more transparent of course.

Such a change could be very difficult for many Arab leaders as they seem to have been able to dip not only a finger, but their entire hand in the state coffers and thus enriched  themselves and stashed away a great amounts of money.  In a feudal society, the link between rulers and business is much more closer and it use to happen out of sight of the ordinary people. In some of the countries we can witness a big gap between the rulers and those who are ruled.

For instance, in Tunisia, business was based on link with the presidential family. We do not know the dimension of this enrichment in other countries, but it can be huge and it can be devastating for monarchies in the region if it all became public.

So far, demands of the people in many of the Arab countries have been met with few changes and short of reforms which goes deeper in the structure of the society. Therefore monarchs like those in Jordan and Morocco or the Sultan in Oman could face a much more dangerous situation tomorrow. As changes sweeps the region, old systems has to go through transitions or fall. The destiny of many monarchs is therefore very unsecure and some of them sit on shaky thrones.

On other important aspect: The trade, like arms, with USA, Britain, France and other countries has great impact and is part of the co-operation between Arab countries and Western countries.  Transparency in this field could also have many consequences, but a fall of monarchies could have a great impact on arm trade, which is a powerful and important industry in man countries.

European monarchies has fallen and been sent in exile through the past. Very few has been able to return to the throne. Spain is the only success story.

Do not think that European monarchies are untouchable.

Today, they are a kind of first family, not full blooded royalties as before and they are part of the glossy magazine life, still busy with some humanitarian work and doing charity-  and they enjoy inherited privileges which is actually not in tune with other trends in the society. 

Absurdity and paradoxes is part of the life: One day royalties buys clothes for a big amount of money and the next day they talk about poverty. 

Some tries to find a meaningful role in using their position to focus on topics and issues of social importance, some takes a little step into the political sphere in the efforts to play are role, but ceremonial they are and should be. 

Transparency:  Except Sweden, where the royal fortune is under taxation, other European royal families have a secret or two about their fortunes. Some are very rich, but details are not known.  This is family business behind the veil, in a modern world like our own.

Who really cares?

I will return to Farouk. Nothing is as sad as a monarch without a throne, and nothing is as sad as the fact that ignorance and lack of understanding of realities often is the reason why monarchies end up in the museum.

Ugly Dictators With A Friendly Face

I have through my life met or been in contact with some of them. Men with power, but not elected to office.  They have entered the presidential office with a weapon in their hand. I remember one in particular. He had been president for decades and did not think of him self as a servant of the people, but he was the personified will of the people. He thought he was the only one who could rule the nation. It was of course a bit surrealistic to visit him.

In his garden, outside the presidential palace, there were young soldiers, sitting under some green threes, with heavy guns, looking on every visitor. I greeted them of course, as I am polite, but they did not notice me at all. They were just focusing on dangers which perhaps could occur at any time. But as I was a women with no intention to making a coup I was asked to move forward and walk in the direction of the main entrance to the presidency.

Still, while passing all these soldiers, I felt a bit shaky. They could shut me down at every minute. The human nature is like that, one can not know the weakest link in the chain, and some could have just gone mad at that very moment , tired of sitting there with the gun, thirsty in the sun, hot tempered in the heath. One never really know when a person loose control. These were some of my reflections while walking to the door to the office of the Head of State.

Did I tell you that he kept some old silent turtle in the garden as well?

In fact the oldest one in the nation, protected by the president and his many soldiers. They would of course neither harm him or protect him, but a president also have its pleasure. One of them was looking on these animals which slowly moved around.

Inside the palace, I decided to take the stair. But I was not alone, as for every five steps, there happen to be a king size man with dark glasses. Imported guards from the South Africa. They did not look on me, but still they did. I could feel their way of observing everything – without moving their head or glance. Strange, but very well trained in a camp for high security service, which is of course very costly and only available for those who can afford it.

A president can pay, and are in need of protection. I was told later. By the most prominent bishop of the country.

Of course, it was obvious, this president had gone through hard lessons. Several coup attempt had made him not only a bit nervous, but also a control freak. I was told that in his office, there were files on every person in the nation which possible could treat him. According to one of my sources, there were perhaps only a few man left – and the turtle in the garden.

What could I expect when entering the office?
A smiling secretary, sitting in front of a desk with lots of papers. Very normal in fact. The walls was brown. Rather usual as well. But the doors were all heavy, padded, it seemed.

I did not have to wait a long time. Some presidents or prominent leaders has some whims regarding appointments, letting people wait and make sure that you really get the feeling of being worth an audience with the lord of the land. But not this one. He was disciplined and ready to talk.

And finally, he was coming, greeting me with a white washed hand. His smile was friendly. His eyes as well.  To be honest with you, he was very nice and a very good with jokes. Although talking about politics, about the powerful USA, the manipulative Russian or Chinese and the polite but insignificant Britain, he did it with great charm and a kind of enthusiasm which a man of his age an in power for such a long time would perhaps not have anymore. Actually he enjoyed talking about politics, not the small map, but the very big one. Conflicts of interests between big powers, which he always noticed and put attention to, in case it could offer him and his country some opportunities.

You have already guessed. Yes, he liked playing chess.

One started to forget about the camps, the terrorism, the dictatorial style of government, the harsh condition for oppositions, which this very nice man with good manners had established in his nation. One nearly started to forget all the girls he had misused in his need of physical satisfactions.  I say nearly, because it came up in my mind while he was reading a very beautiful poem. People in power are great contradictions, and one can often wonder if they are really sane, those men - as they usually are men, who rule for decades, with out being voted in to office in a free and fair election.

Well, they certainly eat almost the same diet as you and me,  but they have an stamina for power which make them ruthless. Pity, they do not understand their own nature and that there are one rule which seems to be true: if you put a gun in the face of a person, you will one day be met with a gun you self.

Still, this  is often the reality for today`s dictators as well. If they are not running away, in the late dark evening.

It Is All About Love

Frankly, I am tired of it. Talking, reading and writing about love. It is too much. In newspapers, in television, everywhere. In our time love is commercialised. English is such a fantastic language, and they have words for everything, such as: Over the top.

As you already imagine. I agree!

Still, I am troubled. Love is essential in all people`s life. It is about relations to other people, connection. Not only to a lover, but in a very broad perspective. There are love between parents and children, between friends and in many various kinds of relationships, which has nothing to do with physical needs.

The human love, which we can share with joy and harmony and without expectations is the most important kind of love in my opinion. What you give of warmth and support and care is actually your gift to the humanity. It is indeed not a big issue. You are not going to save the world. You can just open your door to a neighbour, which would appreciate a cup of coffee at your home. It does not take more than a half hour or so and you have done something important, you have given light into an other persons life and you self have been enriched.

I have met true love while travelling around. I have met hospitality and kindness. I think I have seen genuine love in the face of many people. I have got these experiences in particular in places and areas where there are Muslims. Although I have never considered Islam to be any kind of aggressive religion as I do not reflect in black and white, I have had an opportunity to compare different societies and religions and I have honestly been taken much care of in Muslim communities.

Through these meetings and experienced I have learned a lot about love. Still I am talking about the human love, which goes beyond flesh. I think I have to make this clear as people easily misunderstand, and this is why I write this text.

There are too much focus on sex and too little focus on the strength and support we all can give each other. I have close women friends, and we are giving each other lots of support and positive energy. I also have some male friends, which I appreciate and love very much. Not because of their physics, but because of their good and honest heart. Sometimes I can worried about that I will loose their friendship as men have a tendency to think not only about friendship, but also something else. I do not want to discriminate, but I believe it is a little bit fact in what I write as I have experienced it many times.  I have not said it is wrong. Of course not. Sometimes I can feel attraction to men I met or see my self, and I have certainly not done anything wrong.

I want to promote friendship between women and men as it is can be a great gift in life. As I told you I have had some very good male friends and I have enjoyed talking with them, dancing with them, have fun with them, walking with them, felt safe and secure with them.

What a great treasure in life!

Human nature is strange. One wants more. One needs more. It is difficult to keep it as it is. Just let it be friendship and not crossing the bridge. Well, easy to say perhaps. Still, I would say, give it a try. Give friendship a chance to survive.

It will certainly give you strength.

These days I notice with great pleasure that many young people mix much more easily than my generation does. One does not see too many friendships between men and women of my own generation. Very fast, love is in the air.. or it is dropped.

What a waste!

I admire the younger generation which seems to be so relaxed in friendship, going out together, cafeteria, cinema  etc.

What a winner you are!

Did I say anything negative about relationships which end up in the bed?

No. I am not a moralist.  The sexual chemistry is powerful. Enjoy!

Still, we need the friendship, and the love which is transmitted through friendship, and which we can give with a pure heart and receive with a pure heart.  We all belongs to the same chain, as we are human, and indeed very much so.

Demokratiet er en søvnig velfødd gris

Historiske endringer finner sted i arabiske land. Mange slåss for rettigheter vi i den vestlige verden tar for gitt. Vårt eget demokrati får meg til å tenke på en søvnig velfødd gris som ligger like ved trauet, og knapt åpner øynene når den får mat.

Demokrati handler om politikk. Men stemmeretten til tross, er vi egentlig deltakere?

De politiske partiene får færre og færre betalende medlemmer, og holdes i live av statlige midler og fete sjekker fra støttespillere. De medlemmene som er igjen, drifter demokratiet.

I forbindelse med årets kommunevalg, har nominasjonskomiteer sittet rundt brune respatex bord og under 15 watts lyspærer og satt opp lister med personer som skal representere deg og meg i kommunestyrene. Men det er gjerne ”the old guard” som holder i tømmene, og dersom gjengangere med flere perioder i styre og stell vil fortsette, er det nesten aldri nei å høre. Det er snakk om små og snevre miljøer. Siden vi stemmer på partier, vet vi ikke en gang om våre folkevalgte ombud er kompetente eller ikke.

Noen som bryr seg?

Norske husholdninger er travle. Ansvaret for vår velferd er overlatt til en liten gruppe mennesker, i Storting, fylket og kommunestyrer. I mindre lokalsamfunn kan mangel på aktive innbyggere og kritisk presse, resultere i dårlig styring, samt ukultur i administrasjon og politiske miljøer. Kritiske spørsmål blir ofte ignorert.

Er vi gitt velstand og rikdom, men mistet grepet på politikken og samfunnsstyringen?

Jeg vil si ja. Vi trenger sterke stemmer som setter et skarpt blikk på et system, som kan minne om en ”take away” restaurant: Folk stemmer. Politikerne leverer. Derfor returnerer jeg til grisen. Fikk du med deg bildet og poenget?

Fint. Da stiller jeg neste spørsmål: Hva ville engasjert,  og gjort oss sinte? Mangel på frihet og demokrati?

Democracy Is A Sleeping Well-Fed Pig

In a couple of months the struggle for democracy and freedom in Arab countries has changed the map of politics and leadership. Although facing an unsecure future in both Egypt and Tunisia, there are no return tickets for long surviving leaders like Mubarak or the corrupt presidential family of Tunisia. Emotions are still intense and the young people in other Arab countries fight for rights which we in the West takes for granted.

I am a Scandinavian, living in a part of the world known for its welfare and wealth. Still I am getting worried as we are taking too much for granted.  When I think of our democracy one image comes to my mind: A sleeping well-fed pig, which just slips its eyes when food arrives.

Democracy is freedom, justice and all the principal human rights any civilian society should be build on. Still, democracy is also very much about politics and politicians, and of course the freedom to vote and thus be a participant in the democracy.

Did I write participant?

Well, this is one of the topics I should like to discuss with you.

As I said, democracy is politics - and politics is very much about political parties. All these parties have paid members.  Although the number of members falls and the state and supporters are giving out fat checks to keep parties alive and floating, they still have paid members. These members are the people who decide for instance the nominations of those who shall present the party in various bodies, community councils, regional councils, parliament and in the end the government.

Do you think all the members turn up at the meetings? 

No, that would be too naïve. Let me be concrete:  In a Norwegian community with a population of 10 000, which is rather normal in my country, only a handful will in fact turn up and decide the names on the nomination list.

The nomination committee, which has set up the list consists of three or four men and women, sitting around a brown table and under a dim light. Usually, they would not let new people in,  if the “elephants” want to continue and they would not nominate anyone the “old guards” does not like. Selection is done in a small circle.

This is going on, without any notice from the general public.

When the nomination is finished, you can go and vote at the election day. But as we vote on parties, the people on the list are secondary. We do not really know if we elect smart people, incompetent people or plain stupid people.  

Does any care?

I am not sure.

In a hectic and organised life as ours, we usually only put focus on politics when it happen to influence our budget and standard of living – or some times when important environmental issues are on the agenda. The politicians of higher levels, in parliament and government, are elected to manage our wealth. Politicians on lower levels, in community council, are elected to take better care of the community services like health stations, care of elderly people, schools etc.

Few people are in fact in charge of the destiny and development of our community. As long as it works, the politicians can live their own life in their small fish bowl. If you start to ask questions, the politicians will do their best to ignore you – as they are not use to involvement or engagement from out side.

Are we given wealth and welfare, but less involvement in politics and in the fabric of society?

Sorry to say this, but I think the answer is yes.  This is what worries me. We have few spokeperson who put attention to democracy in a welfare society. We need someone who could put a sharp and critical eye on the weakest link in a system build up, like a take away restaurant: The people vote. Politicians brings us the goods.

This is why I return to pigs.

Did you got the picture and the point?

What could really engage us, make us angry? What could bring emotions to our mind?

Of course: Lack of freedom and democracy.